Most of us have one. The friend that you turn to at any moment. When things are good, bad, and especially when things are terrible. You probably call this friend for anything, you depend on them for comfort and support. You know that if you called in the middle of the night and just needed to talk they would be willing to wake out of their sleep and talk you through your issues. More than likely you admire them for their strength. But, I am here to tell you they need you just as much as you need them. Make sure that just as much as you call to complain, or tell them about your terrible day at work, you listen to theirs. For every text that starts of, “Bisssshhhhh”, make sure you’re sending one that says “I love you”, or “I hope you have a great day.” Make sure you are giving them the same love and support they are constantly giving you!
Being the strong friend is a blessing and a curse. Yes, you may be the voice of reason or the general shoulder to cry on in your group of friends. But, the downside is when you need that same support your friends may not even realize it. You could be down in the dumps for days, but because you probably continue to play your role as the “strong friend” they think you have it all under control. But, girl, it’s ok. You don’t always have to be the strong friend, you need support and comfort just as much as anyone else. Make sure to speak up and let that be known! And do not feel bad or any less strong because of it. Friendship should always be mutual. Point blank period. If you notice a “friend” is always coming to you with their problems, but never around for your trials and tribulations, maybe you should seriously rethink where you stand with that person.
A break-up can be hard on anybody, and I’m sure we have all been there. Depending on how long the relationship lasted, and how many memories were shared a break-up can be downright depressing. But, that break-up does not define you and it does not mean that your life is over, it just means your life has taken a turn. For whatever reason the relationship has comes to an end, and it is important to keep moving forward with your life. It’s ok to be sad or even to take a step back if you need to, but it’s not ok to stay stuck in the pain. It’s also easiest to get over when the situation does not become messy or petty. Here are some tips I have gathered along the way that helped me to push through some major splits.
Cut off all communication! This for me was key! It becomes much easier to move forward and start to heal and get over an individual when you aren’t subjected to looking at them on any of your social media feeds. You can fall into an unhealthy trend of needing to constantly check their social media just to see what they are up to. Even worse, any of their posts can become a trigger, and bring up overwhelming emotions, especially if they have moved on and you haven’t.
Block their phone number! This may be a tough one but, if you are serious about moving forward it’s for the best. The last thing you want once you are finally getting over the situation is to be awaken to a late night drunk text from that person. And even more, you don’t want to be the late night drunk texter!
Ask friends and family to be considerate and NOT keep you updated on the other person! While friends and may feel they are doing you a favor by giving you random tidbits, that can often cause more hurt. In all honesty, you are no longer in a relationship with this person so there is no need for a play-by-play of what they’re doing! You should not feel obligated to have conversations about the person that upset you or make you feel uncomfortable.
Use this time to get in tune with yourself! Relationships can be awesome, but once you lose that person you may have to re-learn who you are. You can get back to being selfish for a while, it is so easy to lose track of your identity in relationships.
Stay strong and think positive! One chapter in your life has ended, but that only means another is beginning! What helped you to move forward after a break-up? Share in the comments!
Whenever I think of friends, I always think of epic tv groups of friends like Girlfriends, Living Single, Martin, or A Different World. All of these shows, very different in concept had one great similarity, they were all focused around groups of friends. Friendship can be a beautiful thing, but just as any relationship can turn ugly at the drop of a hat, a friendship can too. I often wonder how and why friendships go sour. There’s always that saying “some people are in your life for only a season.” While this should be a comforting quote, it really does not stop the hurt or confusion of ended friendships. It’s interesting that some friends become like your family while others eventually become strangers to you.
The older I get the more I realize with friends it really is quality over quantity. There is no point in having numerous people around you that serve no purpose other than just taking up space. In hardship, it becomes clear who is genuinely there for you and who may only be around for the good times. Unfortunately, it is a sad realization when you figure out that someone you considered to be a friend is no where to be found in your time of need.
But, the most important thing about friendship I have learned is to be the friend that you want someone to be to you. There are many relationships that become one-sided. This can be draining and cause a rift in a relationship. Once you notice that you are doing more for your “friend,” than they are doing for you, maybe you should reevaluate your “friendship.” Instead, start looking for friendships that leave you feeling energized and refreshed.
The amazing side of having a friend or even a group of friends that support, encourage, and cheer you on. Life, especially young adulthood can be very harsh at times. It’s always a plus when you have a person or people to lean on that will have your back. So I leave you with this, if your friendship isn’t mutually beneficial, uplifting, or progressive, you may need to reevaluate what you really have and let it go.
Eh…Valentine’s Day. Here it is again. Many wonder whats the point, while others take full advantage to get a date, flowers, candy and and more. Since Valentine’s Day has become completely commercialized, it really makes me wonder…what exactly is love?
Sure, we all know when we like or even dislike someone, but what is love? Is it that feeling you get when you feel like you can’t go through a day without speaking to that special someone? Or is it the feeling that no matter what time of day or what you want you can pick up the phone and call that person, and they will answer? Is it even real love if all those once precious emotions, fade to a more non-chalant feeling. I especially realize the difference between being in love with someone, and just having love for someone. The older I get the more I realize love is not just that but so much more. Love can be so amazing, but at the same time can have you looking and acting crazy.
It’s the sense of security you have within another person knowing they are there for you no matter what through thick and thin. Not only is the person there, but they are supportive in all of your endeavors, dreams, and aspirations. Let’s be real if you don’t have that, what do you really have? I love seeing older couples who have been together for 20 plus years. It amazes me the amount of commitment and dedication they have for one another to stay joined as one.
So I leave you to ponder, what do you consider love?…Comment below!