Tag Archive | Life

She’s Gotta Have It (Review)

I recently binged watched She’s Gotta Have It, and I must say I was throughly impressed! Having seen the original movie years ago, I knew the premise of the show, but what I didn’t expect was the implementation of so many other social issues like gentrification, back alley butt injections, millennial poverty, anti-catcalling and more. The show was beautifully directed and in true Spike Lee fashion there were random monologues by characters, music perfectly fit with almost every scene, and interesting camera angles.

Spike Lee took his classic film, and updated it making it relatable for millennials everywhere. I think the series can be enjoyable for women and men alike. In all honesty the series was not just about a girl who had three men companions, but much more. While that was a factor, thats was not the sole storyline. Nola Darling, considering herself a  “sex positive, polyamorous, pansexual” leads a life of struggle. She struggles with her relationships with her men, and one woman, she struggles with her art career, she struggles to maintain her teaching job, and she struggles to pay her rent. But, through her struggle, she creates beautiful art, giving great meaning to the term “starving artist.” There is no question of her talent, and thats what stood out to me the most.

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As I watched Nola Darling find her way through the first season of the show, I found myself thinking of another show.  I couldn’t help drawing comparisons between Nola Darling and  Issa from the hit show, Insecure. This past season of Insecure we also watched as Issa struggled with her new life without Lawrence and as she tried to find her way through her self-proclaimed “hoe phase”.  In the case of both women, I have seen so many tweets, memes, and even heard several radio station DJ’s condemning both Issa and Nola Darling for the lives they choose to lead sexually.  While I personally don’t consider either woman a “freak” or any other degrading term I have heard them called, it made me even more aware of the double-standard that is in place when it comes to men and women’s sexual lives.

Both series are well worth the watch. They are relatable and humorous, and will have you questioning society and the world around you! Happy watching! 

What did you think about either of these series? Let me know in the comments! 

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3 Reasons Why You Need a 5-Year Plan

Part of adulting is having a game-plan. Sure, not everything in life can be planned, but most things can be. I have seen people here and there who go wherever the wind takes them, and not plan a thing. That works for them. But me on the other hand, I tend to be more strategic about my moves, It’s always best to be prepared, than to be frazzled and miss an opportunity. when there is no need to be. As the saying goes, ”
if you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready.”

  1. You’re not getting any younger!– While this may be a harsh truth, it is a reminder to take advantage of every day you are on this earth. You don’t want life to pass you by  without having accomplished the things that are most important to you. giphy
  2. Execute!- Having a written visual of your goals can be a great reminder and the push you need to get you to what you want. It is very easy to speak things that you want but often, if you don’t have a plan behind those words, they will stay only words. Your dreams can become deferred. Even if you don’t have something planned down to every second, that’s fine. It’s just good to get your ideas down, so you can see them and hold yourself accountable. There are so many wonderful tools available to guide you through your planning, just Google it! Or, if you want to be less informal use any old journal you have and just write!giphy1
    1. Helps with small goals!- Sometimes having a 5-year plan can be intimidating, but making your smalls goals along the way to help you get to the big end goal can helpful. Just view the 5-year plan as your end result and give yourself daily, monthly, and yearly goals. Once you start knocking out those daily and monthly goals it will give you the motivation to keep pushing to your final finish line!

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Good luck and happy planning! What are some things you want accomplished in the next 5 years? Let me know in the comments!

5 Things for College Students to Remember

August is here. Summer is fading out and fall is pushing in. Gone are the days of beach and swimsuit commercials, they have been replaced with back to school commercials. For those getting ready to start a new semester of college, or even those going away for the very first time, it can be very overwhelming. College brings about a lot of freedom, joined with alot of responsibility. So, here are the most important things I leaned while tacking my undergraduate career.

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Call your parents! I can not stress this one enough. Your parents want to hear from you, and not just when you want money or a care package. My mom and I had awesome conversations while I was a way in school. There was a shift in dynamic, I was no longer just her child, but a responsible adult. I’m not saying call and check-in every day but, at least once a week. Set aside about 20 minutes once a week to call and check-in, let them be involved in your week, and get involved in theirs. That phone call may mean the world to them, because believe me they miss you more than you know. giphy2

Make nice with your professors! Remember in grade school when you made fun of “teacher’s pets?” Well I’m here to tell you, you shouldn’t have. In college it’s not abnormal to have a professor that has no clue who you are. Going to class is not enough! You need to be proactive, get to know your professors. Go to their office hours, discuss assignments, or just pick their brains. Now most would confuse this with sucking up but in all actuality, this is to your advantage. Every professor likes to know that their students are engaged and actually gaining knowledge from their class. Every professor grades differently and looks for different things. Once you get to know their style, I guarantee you will have a much easier time scoring high. You pay tuition for them to help you through the semester, there is absolutely no need for you to struggle. But, you will have some late nights and early mornings, but you can do it! I had one professor that truly gave me a run for my money. In the beginning I could earn no greater than a C on her papers. I had never gotten a C on a paper in my life. I started going to her office hours discussing my papers, learning her layouts and expectations and by the end of the semester earned an A in the class! giphy3

Get Active! Try to become an active part of your college community. I don’t just mean being the life of the campus parties, or being known for the person that can take the most shots, but actually get to know key people on campus. Take time finding the student centers, counseling center, and especially tutoring centers. Utilize all of your resources! Whether it be with a campus job, internship, or joining clubs, get involved. When you graduate you will be looking for jobs. You will also need references and reference letters. Since up to that point you may not have had much work experience, your campus activity will give your future employer an idea of who you are. Sitting in your dorm room listening to music is cool, but you have to get out of your comfort zone sometimes to set yourself a part from the many others who will be graduating with you. In my last semester of college I was working for the university newspaper, held an internship in the Alumni office, and knew all of my professors. They were all good people who in turn did not hesitate to write me reference letters, or anything else I needed when it was time for me to graduate.

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Use your meal plan wisely! In beginning of the semester you generally get a hefty amount of meal plan money. Although, this may differ from university to university, the one thing that’s the same is no one wants to be starving by the end of the semester! So, use your swipes wisely and try not to get in the habit of swiping your friends meals!

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College Will Eventually End! I heard it so many times and I let it go in one ear and out the other, “These are  the best years of your life.” College allows you to be selfish, make decisions, and mistakes. You get the opportunity to learn who you really are outside of your parents. Although this time will come to an end, make the best of it while you have it. Party, hang out, meet new people, take this time to live your authentic life. Once you cross that tassel, it’s nothing but bills and adulthood waiting for you. 

Also, take this time to think about the person you want to be once you graduate. Start considering if you want to go straight to gradute school or to the work force. Don’t wait until the last minute to start your job search. Be proactive! Make time during your last year to mentally prepare for the transition that is up ahead.

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Overall, have fun! Although exams, midterms, and finals seem like corporal punishment, that’s a cakewalk compared to what you will face in the real world. Take this time to learn and grow in your purpose! 

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What is something you wish you knew in college you know now? Or college students, what would you like to know? Let’s talk about it in the comments! 

#Summer17WritingChallenge-1

I will be doing the #Summer17WritingChallenge for the next couple of weeks, along with my regular scheduled blogs! Some will be very short while others may be a little longer. So for my first installment, the question is (drum roll please!)…

Q: What book are you reading this summer and why? 

A: I will be starting Charlamagne Tha Gods’ new book, “Black Privilege: Opportunity Comes to Those Who Create It.”

 I decided to read this book because first and foremost I actually like Charlamagne and his harsh honesty. He is the main reason I watch the Breakfast Club interviews. I also love self-help books. They are a great tool I’ve found to keep me motivated and focused while working toward my goals.

What are you reading this summer? Let me know in the comments!

 

Friends…How Many of Us Have Them?

Whenever I think of friends, I always think of epic tv groups of friends like Girlfriends, Living Single, Martin, or A Different World.  All of these shows, very different in concept had one great similarity, they were all focused around groups of friends. Friendship can be a beautiful thing, but just as any relationship can turn ugly at the drop of a hat, a friendship can too. I often wonder how and why friendships go sour. There’s always that saying “some people are in your life for only a season.” While this should be a comforting quote, it really does not stop the hurt or confusion of ended friendships. It’s interesting that some friends become like your family while others eventually become strangers to you.

The older I get the more I realize with friends it really is quality over quantity. There is no point in having numerous people around you that serve no purpose other than just taking up space. In hardship, it becomes clear who is genuinely there for you and who may only be around for the good times. Unfortunately, it is a sad realization when you figure out that someone you considered to be a friend is no where to be found in your time of need.

But, the most important thing about friendship I have learned is to be the friend that you want someone to be to you. There are many relationships that become one-sided. This can  be draining and cause a rift in a relationship. Once you notice that you are doing more for your “friend,” than they are doing for you, maybe you should reevaluate your “friendship.” Instead, start looking for friendships that leave you feeling energized and refreshed.

The amazing side of having a friend or even a group of friends that support, encourage, and cheer you on. Life, especially young adulthood can be very harsh at times. It’s always a plus when you have a person or people to lean on that will have your back. So I leave you with this, if your friendship isn’t mutually beneficial, uplifting, or progressive, you may need to reevaluate what you really have and let it go.

Life After Death

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It’s been 20 years since the death of Christopher Wallace aka Biggie Smalls. Although his life was cut short, leaving the world at only 24 years old, his music has stood the test of time. It is not uncommon to hear “Hypnotize” or “Juicy” on the radio even now. He made a great impact in the music industry in such a short time. Although I was only 5 years old at the time of his death, I remember seeing his videos on BET and on The Box. And, I’m sure we all remember more recently, seeing the movie Notorious. New York’s Hot 97 played an awesome tribute mix and put me in the mood to listen to all Big Poppa, all day. I guess he really showed us that life after death would be more than his last album title but also a testament to his music living on after his death.  In celebration of his life, here are my top 20 Biggie songs! (Disclaimer: They are in no particular order, just what came to mind first!)

Who Shot Ya

Me & My Bitch

10 Crack Commandments

Suicidal Thoughts

Story to Tell

Everyday Struggle

One More Chance

Party & Bullshit

Dead Wrong

Spit Your Game

What’s Beef

Notorious Thugs

Player Hater

Gimme The Loot

Warning

Long Kiss Goodnight

Just Playing (Dreams)

Get Money

Unbelievable

Big Poppa

What are your favorite Biggie songs? Let me know in the comments below!

You Are What You Eat

In an effort to eat healthier, for the past year I have eliminated red meat from my diet, and reduced the amount of pork and chicken I eat. I also drastically increased the amount of water I drink. For the most part, I only eat sausage when it is mixed into a dish such as jambalaya, and the same with chicken. To supplement, I have began to eat shrimp, and more veggies like celery. “When you eat good, you feel good.” I heard the saying many times, but I didn’t realize it was true until I starting trying to clean up my eating habits. I haven’t quite worked up to the working out portion of this journey, but I’ll get there eventually!

This year my goal is to stop eating as much fast food and decrease my alcohol intake. While this will help in overall heath, I know it will especially help in physical health. Limiting fast food will also help save money, always a plus. Often times after a fast food meal, I noticed I would feel sluggish or sleepy. After home cooked meals, I feel reenergized. While fast food is convenient, quick, and sometimes cheap, it is not the healthiest choice. Pinterest has become my go-to website to find new and interesting meals to try.  These few recipes have become my favorites thus far, are quick to make,  and require minimal ingredients.

  1. Jambalaya Pasta: Recipe
  2. Cajun Chicken & Rice: Recipe
  3. Spicy Chicken 3 Cheese Tortellini: Recipe

Happy cooking and eating! If you have any recipes or strategies you enjoy, put them in the comments below!